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The Assless Chaps of Magical Mountain Dew

“I can levitate birds. Nobody cares.”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: Osiris

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Assless Chaps of Magical Mountain Dew is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Jack with an iron fist, and remarkable for its superstitious fear of technology. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 20.045 billion Magical Mountain Dewians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it is mainly concerned with Defence, although Law & Order and Commerce are on the agenda. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Peptopia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 87%. A powerhouse of a private sector is dominated by the Uranium Mining industry.

Euthanasia is illegal, tourists are kicked out if they express interest in their national sport, the government props up questionable pizza establishments in the name of health, and police officers have nearly cracked a major underage astronomy syndicate. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Magical Mountain Dew's national animal is the Wildewbeast, which is also the nation's favorite main course, its national religion is Dewdiasm, and its currency is the Dew Can.

Magical Mountain Dew is ranked 3,102nd in Osiris and 112,699th in the world for Best Weather, with -835 Metres of Sunlight Above Expected.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 17 days ago

  • 1 day 9 hours ago: Magical Mountain Dew was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Largest Defense Forces (last census: Top 1%).
  • 2 days 8 hours ago: Magical Mountain Dew fell out of the world Top 10% for Highest Average Tax Rates.
  • 2 days 8 hours ago: Magical Mountain Dew fell out of the regional Top 5% for Highest Average Tax Rates.
  • 3 days 8 hours ago: Magical Mountain Dew was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides.
  • 4 days ago: Magical Mountain Dew fell out of the regional Top 10% for Smartest Citizens.
  • 6 days ago: Magical Mountain Dew was ranked in the Top 1% of the region for Largest Agricultural Sector.
  • 8 days ago: Magical Mountain Dew was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Fattest Citizens (last census: Top 1%).
  • 8 days ago: Magical Mountain Dew was ranked in the Top 1% of the region for Fattest Citizens.
  • 9 days ago: Magical Mountain Dew was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Most Dedicated Public Healthcare (last census: Top 5%).
  • 12 days ago: Magical Mountain Dew was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Safest.

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by Max Barry

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