The Free Land of Los Cristianos is a gargantuan, cultured nation, notable for its enslaved workforce, irreverence towards religion, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 15.476 billion Los Cristianosians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Education, although Industry is also considered important, while Spirituality and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Playa de las Américas. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.7%.

The powerhouse Los Cristianosian economy, worth a remarkable 2,017 trillion euros a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Soda Sales, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 130,344 euros, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,191,315 per year while the poor average 1,555, a ratio of 765 to 1.

Politicians are losing their jobs in a plan to make the government 'leaner and fitter', computer users are buried daily in thousands of unsolicited emails, only the rich can afford the latest medical innovations, and anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Los Cristianos's national animal is the gato, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Los Cristianos is ranked 292,225^th in the world and 46^th in Mum for Lowest Crime Rates, with 6.64 law-abiding acts per hour.