by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Public Transport: 467thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 899thHighest Crime Rates: 938th
The Missing Whole of
New York Times Democracy
We Are The Better Half
Influence
Dealmaker
Region
Civil Rights
Excellent
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
World Benchmark

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Left Butt Cheek

Population21.942 billion

Capitala very Special Place

Currencypoop
AnimalWild Diarrhoea Monster

The Missing Whole of Left Butt Cheek is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, notable for its soft-spoken computers, triple-decker prams, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, democratic population of 21.942 billion Butts enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The enormous, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of a very Special Place. The average income tax rate is 95.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Left Butt economy, worth a remarkable 3,533 trillion poops a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Information Technology, Book Publishing, Tourism, and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 161,043 poops, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

City budgets are spent entirely on supporting the town royalty, nervous homeowners have been blamed for rising death rates amongst carol singers and locksmiths, the military maintains a fierce arsenal of 'Cure Missiles', and organ donation rates are among the lowest in the region. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Left Butt Cheek's national animal is the Wild Diarrhoea Monster, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Left Butt Cheek is ranked 2,003rd in the world and 1st in Mordor for Most Cultured, scoring 265 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 467thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 899thHighest Crime Rates: 938thMost Advanced Public Education: 982ndLargest Welfare Programs: 1,065thMost Armed: 1,142ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,221stMost Rebellious Youth: 1,451stMost Subsidized Industry: 1,886thMost Cultured: 2,003rdHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 2,481stLargest Black Market: 2,790thTop
5%
Healthiest Citizens: 3,447thLeast Corrupt Governments: 3,543rdMost Developed: 3,777thLongest Average Lifespans: 4,179thHighest Food Quality: 4,548thHighest Average Tax Rates: 5,313thSmartest Citizens: 5,414thHighest Economic Output: 5,720thMost Beautiful Environments: 5,781stLargest Publishing Industry: 6,249thMost Influential: 8,370thRudest Citizens: 9,146thLargest Governments: 9,209thHighest Poor Incomes: 10,070thLargest Populations: 13,195thNudest: 14,035thMost Efficient Economies: 14,916thTop
10%
Most Scientifically Advanced: 15,621stHighest Average Incomes: 18,338thMost Patriotic: 21,756thMost Secular: 23,973rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 24,701stLargest Gambling Industry: 26,255thMost Inclusive: 27,049th
Top
10%
Healthiest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionHighest Food Quality: 1st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Left Butt Cheek's influence in Mordor rose from "Instigator" to "Dealmaker".
  • : Left Butt Cheek's influence in Mordor fell from "Dealmaker" to "Instigator".
  • : Left Butt Cheek's influence in Mordor rose from "Instigator" to "Dealmaker".
  • : Left Butt Cheek's influence in Mordor fell from "Dealmaker" to "Instigator".
  • : Following new legislation in Left Butt Cheek, organ donation rates are among the lowest in the region.
  • : Following new legislation in Left Butt Cheek, the military maintains a fierce arsenal of 'Cure Missiles'.
  • : Following new legislation in Left Butt Cheek, nervous homeowners have been blamed for rising death rates amongst carol singers and locksmiths.
  • : Following new legislation in Left Butt Cheek, city budgets are spent entirely on supporting the town royalty.
  • : Following new legislation in Left Butt Cheek, healthcare workers are flummoxed over the spike in foreign tourists with sudden-onset heart disease.
  • : Following new legislation in Left Butt Cheek, failed genetic experiments wreak havoc as they roam the countryside.

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