Spotlight on:

“It's whisky for dictators, and methanol for liberals.”

The Global Whisky Hegemony of Lagaphroaig is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by The Supreme Distiller with an iron fist, and remarkable for its irreverence towards religion. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 4.336 billion are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defence, and Education. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Whiskyville. The average income tax rate is 100%. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, followed by Information Technology and Soda Sales.

Newborns are being raised as mindless killing machines, skateparks can be found in every city, graffiti graces every city's streets, and schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lagaphroaig's national animal is the famous grouse, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the barrel.

Lagaphroaig is ranked 4th in the region and 1,050th in the world for Lowest Crime Rates.