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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee

“Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Excellent
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: Wysteria

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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 26.093 billion Richly Blended Peopleses are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, corrupt, pro-business individuals juggles the competing demands of Commerce, Education, and Healthcare. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology industries.

Inheritance tax has recently been abolished, Koffee is notorious for its citizens' infidelity, the government regularly hires contractors to construct high rise apartments, and manual labourers must be willing to have cybernetic limbs to get a job. Crime is totally unknown. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the Cuppa.

Koffee is ranked 168th in Wysteria and 121,358th in the world for Highest Police Ratios, scoring -485 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 1 day 3 hours ago

  • 21 hours ago: Koffee was reclassified from "Compulsory Consumerist State" to "Capitalist Paradise".
  • 21 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, manual labourers must be willing to have cybernetic limbs to get a job.
  • 21 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the government regularly hires contractors to construct high rise apartments.
  • 21 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, Koffee is notorious for its citizens' infidelity.
  • 21 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, inheritance tax has recently been abolished.
  • 21 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, inter-species marriages are ignored by the government.
  • 3 days 21 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, violently opinionated speakers can be heard preaching their hateful views on every street corner.
  • 3 days 21 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, a typical fast food menu item could serve a small army.
  • 3 days 21 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, a survey of the nation's rivers and children has shown that pesticide levels are at an all-time regional high.
  • 3 days 21 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, scenic tours are unheard of after most environmental laws were abolished.

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by Max Barry

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