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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee

“Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Very Good

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: Wysteria

OverviewFactbookPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, economically powerful nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls. The hard-nosed, hard-working, intelligent population of 25.756 billion Koffeeans are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, corrupt, pro-business individuals juggles the competing demands of Commerce, Education, and Law & Order. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology industries.

CDs are regularly copy-protected, Tesco was recently named as the new national treasurer, Koffee is notorious for its citizens' infidelity, and Pinkerton agents are called in to forcibly break up white collar strikes. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the Cuppa.

Koffee is ranked 12th in Wysteria and 167th in the world for Most Godforsaken, with 553 Dawkins.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 19 hours ago

  • 19 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, Pinkerton agents are called in to forcibly break up white collar strikes.
  • 19 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, Koffee is notorious for its citizens' infidelity.
  • 19 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, Tesco was recently named as the new national treasurer.
  • 19 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, CDs are regularly copy-protected.
  • 19 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, murder rates are on the rise as the popularity of soylent products grows.
  • 3 days 7 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the automotive industry soaks up huge government handouts.
  • 3 days 7 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the workforce is almost entirely made up of slave labour.
  • 3 days 7 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, reporters often lose their jobs over fact-checking errors.
  • 3 days 7 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, skateparks can be found in every city.
  • 3 days 7 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, most of the military's funding goes into researching space-age weaponry.

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by Max Barry

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