The Richly Blended Peoples of
Capitalist Paradise
Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!
Regional Influence
Minnow
Region
Civil Rights
Very Good
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Below Average

Overview Factbook People Government Economy Trend Analysis

The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an even hand, and notable for its public floggings, strictly enforced bedtime, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 27.051 billion Richly Blended Peopleses are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, with Education also on the agenda, while Welfare and Environment aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Koffeean economy, worth an astonishing 22,392 trillion Cuppas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 827,794 Cuppas, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 4,989,138 per year while the poor average 61,775, a ratio of 80.8 to 1.

Homeowners are evicted to make way for new runways, gun ownership is compulsory, several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation, and immigrant herding has become a national pastime. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Koffee is ranked 143rd in Wysteria and 142,737th in the world for Happiest Citizens, scoring -29 on the Relative Cheerfulness Rating.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 20 hours ago

  • 10 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, immigrant herding has become a national pastime.
  • 10 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation.
  • 10 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, gun ownership is compulsory.
  • 2 days 22 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, homeowners are evicted to make way for new runways.
  • 2 days 22 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, scenic tours are unheard of after most environmental laws were abolished.
  • 2 days 22 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the nanny industry has had a boom after maternity leave was recently banned.
  • 2 days 22 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, cars speed down national highways while drivers sleep at the wheel.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the Schrodingers Cat is reportedly extinct.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, citizens are expected to be proficient in at least five languages.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the government has the power to seize property at will.

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by Max Barry

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