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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee

“Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Some

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: Wysteria

OverviewFactbookPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, economically powerful nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an even hand, and notable for its unlimited-speed roads. Its hard-nosed, hard-working population of 24.814 billion are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, corrupt, pro-business individuals juggles the competing demands of Commerce, Education, and Law & Order. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Gambling industries.

Pinkerton agents are called in to forcibly break up white collar strikes, the government struggles to keep up with the endless list of petrol disasters, 'A is for Annulment' is a popular children's song, and it is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its currency is the Cuppa.

Koffee is ranked 75th in Wysteria and 39,918th in the world for Highest Drug Use, scoring 79 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 2 days 1 hour ago

  • 1 day 16 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, it is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws.
  • 1 day 16 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, 'A is for Annulment' is a popular children's song.
  • 1 day 16 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the government struggles to keep up with the endless list of petrol disasters.
  • 1 day 16 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, Pinkerton agents are called in to forcibly break up white collar strikes.
  • 1 day 16 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, door-to-door salesmen are frequently beaten up by 'vigilantes'.
  • 4 days ago: Koffee was reclassified from "Compulsory Consumerist State" to "Capitalist Paradise".
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the military has had to quell a recent insurrection by uninsured revolutionaries.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, a typical fast food menu item could serve a small army.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, all judiciary cases are decided in the court of public opinion.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, a large percentage of the poor live from cradle to grave in subterranean wage slavery.

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by Max Barry

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