Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 3rd Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 3rd
The Richly Blended Peoples of
Capitalist Paradise
Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!
Regional Influence
Civil Rights
Very Good
Political Freedom
Below Average

Overview Factbook People Government Economy Rank Trend

The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, barren, inhospitable landscape, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 29.19 billion Richly Blended Peopleses are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Koffeean economy, worth an astonishing 25,144 trillion Cuppas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 861,391 Cuppas, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 5,368,983 per year while the poor average 59,045, a ratio of 90.9 to 1.

Morning coffees are no longer the same since the disappearance of newspapers, prominent cultural symbols are featured on the backs of cereal boxes, the children of Koffee are often remarked upon for their cheery attitude to extreme violence, and the Schrodingers Cat is reportedly extinct. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Koffee is ranked 191,627th in the world and 140th in Wysteria for Most Primitive, scoring -955.17 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 1stLowest Overall Tax Burden: 3rdHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 3rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 4thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4thHighest Economic Output: 7thRudest Citizens: 8thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 9thLargest Insurance Industry: 10thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 10thLargest Retail Industry: 11thSmartest Citizens: 12thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 12thHighest Average Incomes: 13thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 14thMost Avoided: 14thFattest Citizens: 17thLargest Populations: 17thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 18thLargest Mining Sector: 19thLargest Gambling Industry: 24thMost Secular: 24thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 25thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 32ndMost Armed: 34thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 47thMost Cultured: 58thMost Stationary: 59thHighest Crime Rates: 63rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 70thLargest Publishing Industry: 72ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 100thMost Corrupt Governments: 374thMost Rebellious Youth: 1,069thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,423rdTop
Most Efficient Economies: 2,029thLargest Black Market: 2,464thMost Influential: 3,395thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 4,289thMost Pro-Market: 6,119thTop
Highest Drug Use: 11,925thNudest: 16,760thMost Developed: 17,166th
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Populations: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionTop
Largest Insurance Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 3rd in the regionMost Stationary: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 3rd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 3rd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 4th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 4th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 4th in the regionMost Secular: 4th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 5th in the regionMost Cultured: 5th in the regionMost Armed: 5th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 5th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 6th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 6th in the regionFattest Citizens: 7th in the regionTop
Largest Black Market: 8th in the regionMost Avoided: 10th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 12th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 14th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Koffee, the Schrodingers Cat is reportedly extinct.
  • : Following new legislation in Koffee, the children of Koffee are often remarked upon for their cheery attitude to extreme violence.
  • : Koffee was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Trout Fishing Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in Koffee, prominent cultural symbols are featured on the backs of cereal boxes.
  • : Following new legislation in Koffee, morning coffees are no longer the same since the disappearance of newspapers.
  • : Following new legislation in Koffee, convicted felons are forced into slavery for their crimes.
  • : Following new legislation in Koffee, Koffee's nuclear reactors are held together with party string and Hubba Bubba.
  • : Following new legislation in Koffee, trespassers entering Generalissimo Barista Espresso's office are immediately vaporized.
  • : Following new legislation in Koffee, the nation is famous for having one of the world's largest Schrodingers Cat hunting institutions.
  • : Following new legislation in Koffee, the government has instituted 'traveller reservations' across the country.


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by Max Barry

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