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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee

“Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!”

Category: Compulsory Consumerist State
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: Wysteria

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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an iron fist, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 25.343 billion Koffeeans are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, corrupt, pro-business individuals juggles the competing demands of Commerce, Education, and Law & Order. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology industries.

The government is spending billions of taxpayer Cuppas to support the Automobile Manufacturing industry, Saturday morning cartoons feature full frontal nudity, penurious citizens die from easily remedied ailments because they aren't 'taking enough initiative', and construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its currency is the Cuppa.

Koffee is ranked 23rd in Wysteria and 1,661st in the world for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring 64 on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 1 day 9 hours ago

  • 1 day ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway.
  • 1 day ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, penurious citizens die from easily remedied ailments because they aren't 'taking enough initiative'.
  • 1 day ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, Saturday morning cartoons feature full frontal nudity.
  • 1 day ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the government is spending billions of taxpayer Cuppas to support the Automobile Manufacturing industry.
  • 1 day ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the government's official stance on religion is that it is so very silly.
  • 3 days 12 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, vanity is considered the fifth cardinal virtue.
  • 3 days 12 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the Hanging Gardens account for half of Full City's water use.
  • 3 days 12 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, roads are often attended by round-the-clock construction crews.
  • 3 days 12 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, door-to-door salesmen are frequently beaten up by 'vigilantes'.
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, it is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws.

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by Max Barry

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