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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee

“Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!”

Category: Compulsory Consumerist State
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: Wysteria

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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, economically powerful nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an iron fist, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 25.397 billion Koffeeans are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, corrupt, pro-business individuals juggles the competing demands of Commerce, Education, and Law & Order. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology industries.

Private business has started paving paradises and putting up parking lots, the government is avowedly atheist, more and more students are taking up a career in medicine, and the state has declared war on the environment and environmentalists by association. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the Cuppa.

Koffee is ranked 190th in Wysteria and 112,200th in the world for Best Weather, with -8,029 Metres of Sunlight Above Expected.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 22 hours ago

  • 16 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the state has declared war on the environment and environmentalists by association.
  • 16 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, more and more students are taking up a career in medicine.
  • 16 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the government is avowedly atheist.
  • 1 day 4 hours ago: Koffee was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Lowest Overall Tax Burden (last census: Top 5%).
  • 2 days 4 hours ago: Koffee was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Most Cultured (last census: Top 10%).
  • 2 days 4 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, private business has started paving paradises and putting up parking lots.
  • 2 days 4 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, a large percentage of the poor live from cradle to grave in subterranean wage slavery.
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the explosive fireball of the disintegrating space shuttle has devastated Cape Koffee.
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the nanny industry has had a boom after maternity leave was recently banned.
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, crime suspects are forced to submit to blood testing.

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by Max Barry

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