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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee

“Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Some

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: Wysteria

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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, economically powerful nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 26.469 billion Richly Blended Peopleses are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, although Education is also considered important, while Welfare and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Koffeean economy, worth an astonishing 21,984 trillion Cuppas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 830,581 Cuppas, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 6,859,991 per year while the poor average 20,661, a ratio of 332 to 1.

The state has declared war on the environment and environmentalists by association, citizens are expected to be proficient in at least five languages, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, and the richest citizens live in sheltered private citadels. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Koffee is ranked 126th in Wysteria and 98,415th in the world for Most Authoritarian, with 0.043 Stalins.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 23 hours ago

  • 14 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the richest citizens live in sheltered private citadels.
  • 14 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit.
  • 14 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, citizens are expected to be proficient in at least five languages.
  • 14 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the state has declared war on the environment and environmentalists by association.
  • 14 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, one-stop superstores divide and conquer family businesses.
  • 3 days 1 hour ago: Koffee was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Public Sector.
  • 3 days 2 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, vitriolic divorce proceedings have become prime-time television.
  • 3 days 2 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, insurance companies charge extortionate premiums to cover homes near waterways.
  • 3 days 2 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the government extracts trade concessions from poor nations in exchange for humanitarian aid.
  • 3 days 2 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, 'Mountain Doobie' is widely regarded as the nation's favourite drink.

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by Max Barry

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