The Richly Blended Peoples of
Corporate Bordello
Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!
Regional Influence
Minnow
Region
Civil Rights
Good
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Excellent

Overview Factbook People Government Economy Trend Analysis

The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with a fair hand, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, daily referendums, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 27.424 billion Richly Blended Peopleses are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, although Education is also considered important, while Welfare and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Koffeean economy, worth an astonishing 22,848 trillion Cuppas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 833,149 Cuppas, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 4,889,274 per year while the poor average 66,320, a ratio of 73.7 to 1.

Morning coffees are no longer the same since the disappearance of newspapers, crowds of flag-burning protesters tend to accidentally become crowds of burning protesters, the adult unemployment rate nears 100% as all available jobs have been filled by young children, and insurance companies charge extortionate premiums to cover homes near waterways. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Koffee is ranked 4th in Wysteria and 6th in the world for Largest Retail Industry, scoring 34 on the Shrinkwrap Consignment Productivity Index.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 2 days 10 hours ago

  • 2 days 2 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, insurance companies charge extortionate premiums to cover homes near waterways.
  • 2 days 2 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the adult unemployment rate nears 100% as all available jobs have been filled by young children.
  • 2 days 2 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, crowds of flag-burning protesters tend to accidentally become crowds of burning protesters.
  • 2 days 2 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, morning coffees are no longer the same since the disappearance of newspapers.
  • 2 days 2 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, door-to-door salesmen are frequently beaten up by 'vigilantes'.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, a typical fast food menu item could serve a small army.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, package deals offer tourists the chance to visit the frozen remains of the previous tour group.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, Saturday morning cartoons feature full frontal nudity.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, most people suffer from some form of hearing loss.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, children are raised bilingual from an early age.

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by Max Barry

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