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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee

“Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Excellent
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Some

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: Wysteria

OverviewFactbookPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an even hand, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 25.579 billion Koffeeans are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, corrupt, pro-business individuals juggles the competing demands of Commerce, Education, and Law & Order. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology industries.

Mobile phone masts are being erected all over the country, cyber-crime and tin-foil hat sales are both increasing at record rates, airship use has soared while property values beneath their routes have plummeted, and the nation leads Wysteria in per capita stalking. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the Cuppa.

Koffee is ranked 136th in Wysteria and 109,196th in the world for Highest Police Ratios, scoring -15 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 14 hours ago

  • 13 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the nation leads Wysteria in per capita stalking.
  • 13 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, airship use has soared while property values beneath their routes have plummeted.
  • 13 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, cyber-crime and tin-foil hat sales are both increasing at record rates.
  • 13 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, mobile phone masts are being erected all over the country.
  • 2 days 13 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the Schrodingers Cat is reportedly extinct.
  • 2 days 13 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, minority children spend hours bussing to schools miles away from home.
  • 2 days 13 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the controversial show 'Who Wants to be an Immigrant?' has become wildly popular.
  • 2 days 13 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, charity no longer begins at home.
  • 2 days 13 hours ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, the military frequently holds bake sales to raise funds.
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in Koffee, movies and computer games are strictly censored for violence.

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by Max Barry

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