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The Free Land of Jacobs Cattlebean

“A clever man commits no minor blunders.”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Economy:
Imploded
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Hermit

Location: Jacobs Cattlebean

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Free Land of Jacobs Cattlebean is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Leader with an iron fist, and notable for its happy-go-lucky citizens. The compassionate, cynical population of 5.444 billion Jacobs Cattlebeanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it devotes most of its attentions to Religion & Spirituality, with areas such as Commerce and Public Transport receiving almost no funds by comparison. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jacobs Cattlebean City. The average income tax rate is 71%. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

Traveller camps regularly block five-lane superhighways, elderly citizens regularly buy posh multimillion-Tiny Ferret mansions, the colors pink and purple are banned from military unit insignia, and gambling addicts regularly lose their families' nest eggs at Native Jacobs Cattlebeanian casinos. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is crippling, and the police force struggles against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Jacobs Cattlebean's national animal is the Turkey, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, its national religion is a major religion, and its currency is the Tiny Ferret.

Jacobs Cattlebean is ranked 1st in Jacobs Cattlebean and 21,102nd in the world for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 192.25 Net Tourists per hour.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 11 days ago

  • 11 days ago: Jacobs Cattlebean was reclassified from "Corrupt Dictatorship" to "Father Knows Best State".
  • 11 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, gambling addicts regularly lose their families' nest eggs at Native Jacobs Cattlebeanian casinos.
  • 11 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, the colors pink and purple are banned from military unit insignia.
  • 22 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, elderly citizens regularly buy posh multimillion-Tiny Ferret mansions.
  • 24 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, traveller camps regularly block five-lane superhighways.
  • 24 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, Jacobs Cattlebean's schoolchildren are manufactured into a segregated bunch of soldiers, religious zealots, and computer technicians.
  • 24 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, Harry Potter books are banned.
  • 24 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, organised sports are frowned upon as frivolous.
  • 46 days ago: Jacobs Cattlebean fell out of the world Top 10% for Most Authoritarian.
  • 48 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, Turkeys are frequently shot for looking at people 'in a funny way'.

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by Max Barry

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