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The Free Land of Jacobs Cattlebean

“A clever man commits no minor blunders.”

Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Economy:
Imploded
Political Freedoms:
Average

Regional Influence: Hermit

Location: Jacobs Cattlebean

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Free Land of Jacobs Cattlebean is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Leader with an even hand, and remarkable for its frequent medical pandemics, ritual sacrifices, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 6.412 billion Jacobs Cattlebeanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it is primarily concerned with Spirituality, although Welfare is also considered important, while Industry is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jacobs Cattlebean City. The average income tax rate is 90.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant Jacobs Cattlebeanian economy, worth 73.5 trillion Tiny Ferrets a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, extremely specialized black market in Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is 11,458 Tiny Ferrets, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Midnight raids drag couples from their homes in the name of decency, only government officials may operate computers, record sales of 'child-whacking sticks' have been reported, and parents must choose their children's names from a government-mandated master list. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Jacobs Cattlebean's national animal is the Turkey, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is a major religion.

Jacobs Cattlebean is ranked 1st in Jacobs Cattlebean and 114,847th in the world for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring -10 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 22 hours ago

  • 18 hours ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, parents must choose their children's names from a government-mandated master list.
  • 18 hours ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, record sales of 'child-whacking sticks' have been reported.
  • 18 hours ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, only government officials may operate computers.
  • 2 days 15 hours ago: Jacobs Cattlebean was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Beautiful Environments.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, midnight raids drag couples from their homes in the name of decency.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, tightly packed choir-boys sing the god-given joys of heterosexuality on public transport.
  • 5 days ago: Jacobs Cattlebean fell out of the world Top 10% for Most Beautiful Environments.
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, pollsters are out of a job as elections have been cancelled.
  • 6 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, atheists are heavily taxed.
  • 6 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, the government is attempting to impose a new national language on the public.

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by Max Barry

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