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The Free Land of Jacobs Cattlebean

“A clever man commits no minor blunders.”

Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Economy:
Imploded
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Hermit

Location: Jacobs Cattlebean

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Free Land of Jacobs Cattlebean is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Leader with an iron fist, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies. Its compassionate, cynical population of 4.696 billion are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it devotes most of its attentions to Religion & Spirituality, with areas such as Commerce and Public Transport receiving almost no funds by comparison. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jacobs Cattlebean City. The average income tax rate is 70%, and even higher for the wealthy. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

Turkey populations thrive as dogs are slaughtered in the millions, libraries are bulldozed to make way for internet cafés, the government is cutting back on the number of political prisoners executed each year, and the ban on cars has been repealed. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is crippling, and the police force struggles against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Jacobs Cattlebean's national animal is the Turkey, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, its national religion is a major religion, and its currency is the Tiny Ferret.

Jacobs Cattlebean is ranked 1st in Jacobs Cattlebean and 13,108th in the world for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens, with 8 Whatever.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 9 days ago

  • 8 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, the ban on cars has been repealed.
  • 11 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, the government is cutting back on the number of political prisoners executed each year.
  • 18 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, libraries are bulldozed to make way for internet cafés.
  • 19 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, Turkey populations thrive as dogs are slaughtered in the millions.
  • 20 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, knitting needles have been banned in the name of public safety.
  • 20 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, bombs are permitted on planes for the 'security of the passengers'.
  • 22 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, there have been sightings of people walking around dressed in nothing but leopard-skin g-strings for 'religious reasons'.
  • 22 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, a government program is underway to revitalize Jacobs Cattlebean's beaches.
  • 23 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, a dictator has seized power and outlawed elections.
  • 23 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, the upper class have been throwing riots after hunting was recently banned.

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by Max Barry

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