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The Free Land of Jacobs Cattlebean

“A clever man commits no minor blunders.”

Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Imploded
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Hermit

Location: Jacobs Cattlebean

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Free Land of Jacobs Cattlebean is a colossal, devout nation, ruled by Leader with an iron fist, and renowned for its superstitious fear of technology. The compassionate, cynical population of 5.265 billion Jacobs Cattlebeanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it devotes most of its attentions to Religion & Spirituality, with areas such as Commerce and Public Transport receiving almost no funds by comparison. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jacobs Cattlebean City. The average income tax rate is 72%, and even higher for the wealthy. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

Politicians live in abject luxury, houses and businesses are bulldozed to make way for ever-expanding cemeteries, bloodthirsty zealots regularly participate in the Friday Night Stoning of Adulterers, and Turkeys are frequently shot for looking at people 'in a funny way'. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is crippling, and the police force struggles against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Jacobs Cattlebean's national animal is the Turkey, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, its national religion is a major religion, and its currency is the Tiny Ferret.

Jacobs Cattlebean is ranked 1st in Jacobs Cattlebean and 2,672nd in the world for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring 45 on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 19 days ago

  • 16 days ago: Jacobs Cattlebean fell out of the world Top 10% for Most Authoritarian.
  • 18 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, Turkeys are frequently shot for looking at people 'in a funny way'.
  • 18 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, bloodthirsty zealots regularly participate in the Friday Night Stoning of Adulterers.
  • 19 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, houses and businesses are bulldozed to make way for ever-expanding cemeteries.
  • 19 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, politicians live in abject luxury.
  • 19 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, blood donations have been banned because of the risk of eternal unrest.
  • 19 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, citizens can be frequently spotted going about their business stark naked.
  • 21 days ago: Jacobs Cattlebean was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Influential.
  • 22 days ago: Jacobs Cattlebean was reclassified from "Democratic Socialists" to "Corrupt Dictatorship".
  • 22 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, politicians are losing their jobs in a plan to make the government 'leaner and fitter'.

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by Max Barry

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