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The Free Land of Jacobs Cattlebean

“A clever man commits no minor blunders.”

Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Economy:
Imploded
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Hermit

Location: Jacobs Cattlebean

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Free Land of Jacobs Cattlebean is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Leader with an iron fist, and renowned for its punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical population of 5.302 billion Jacobs Cattlebeanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it devotes most of its attentions to Religion & Spirituality, with areas such as Commerce and Public Transport receiving almost no funds by comparison. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jacobs Cattlebean City. The average income tax rate is 72%, and even higher for the wealthy. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

Organised sports are frowned upon as frivolous, Harry Potter books are banned, Jacobs Cattlebean's schoolchildren are manufactured into a segregated bunch of soldiers, religious zealots, and computer technicians, and traveller camps regularly block five-lane superhighways. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is crippling, and the police force struggles against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Jacobs Cattlebean's national animal is the Turkey, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, its national religion is a major religion, and its currency is the Tiny Ferret.

Jacobs Cattlebean is ranked 1st in Jacobs Cattlebean and 17,720th in the world for Most Authoritarian, with 1.316 Stalins.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 13 hours ago

  • 2 hours ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, traveller camps regularly block five-lane superhighways.
  • 2 hours ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, Jacobs Cattlebean's schoolchildren are manufactured into a segregated bunch of soldiers, religious zealots, and computer technicians.
  • 2 hours ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, Harry Potter books are banned.
  • 2 hours ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, organised sports are frowned upon as frivolous.
  • 21 days ago: Jacobs Cattlebean fell out of the world Top 10% for Most Authoritarian.
  • 24 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, Turkeys are frequently shot for looking at people 'in a funny way'.
  • 24 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, bloodthirsty zealots regularly participate in the Friday Night Stoning of Adulterers.
  • 25 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, houses and businesses are bulldozed to make way for ever-expanding cemeteries.
  • 25 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, politicians live in abject luxury.
  • 25 days ago: Following new legislation in Jacobs Cattlebean, blood donations have been banned because of the risk of eternal unrest.

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by Max Barry

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