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The Capitalist Nudists of Hellytown

“Ehh, We're not so bad”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: Balder

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The Capitalist Nudists of Hellytown is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Hell's Admin with an iron fist, and remarkable for its complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 5.338 billion Hellytownians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, corrupt individuals is mainly concerned with Commerce, although Law & Order and Healthcare are on the agenda. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Underworld. Income tax is unheard of. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Information Technology, Tourism, and Uranium Mining industries.

It is illegal to own a mobile phone, Hellytown's navy has been named the scourge of the seven thousand seas, all recreational drugs are legal, and the national guard is mobilized whenever a mother gets separated from her child at the mall. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hellytown's national animal is the dollar bill, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, its national religion is Money, and its currency is the dollar.

Hellytown is ranked 127th in Balder and 3,992nd in the world for Rudest Citizens, with 126.5 Insults Per Minute (net).

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 21 days ago

  • 20 hours ago: Hellytown was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Rudest Citizens.
  • 2 days 20 hours ago: Hellytown was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Largest Trout Fishing Sector.
  • 6 days ago: Hellytown was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Fattest Citizens.
  • 8 days ago: Hellytown was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens.
  • 10 days ago: Hellytown was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Lowest Unemployment Rates.
  • 14 days ago: Hellytown was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Lowest Overall Tax Burden.
  • 19 days ago: Hellytown was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector.
  • 20 days ago: Hellytown was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Largest Manufacturing Sector.
  • 21 days ago: Following new legislation in Hellytown, the national guard is mobilized whenever a mother gets separated from her child at the mall.
  • 21 days ago: Following new legislation in Hellytown, all recreational drugs are legal.

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by Max Barry

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