The Dictatorship of
Iron Fist Consumerists
dead dictator = good dictator
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Overview People Government Economy Trend Analysis

The Dictatorship of Hafez al-Assad is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Mr Al-Assad with an iron fist, and remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, smutty television, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 10.742 billion Hafez al-Assadians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Damascus. The average income tax rate is 66.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Hafez al-Assadian economy, worth a remarkable 1,544 trillion monies a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Retail. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 143,763 monies, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Glittering new sports stadiums adorn every city and town, underground copulation clubs have sprung up in major cities, scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes, and the government is making attempts at curtailing the flood of spam emails with little progress. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hafez al-Assad's national animal is the fly, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Hafez al-Assad is ranked 18th in Poland and 129,162nd in the world for Most Primitive, scoring -172 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

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by Max Barry

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