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The Beat of Groovistan

“Over 100,000,000,000 fools pitied”

Category: New York Times Democracy
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
World Benchmark

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: The North Pacific


The Beat of Groovistan is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Mr T with a fair hand, and renowned for its punitive income tax rates, sprawling nuclear power plants, and daily referendums. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 23.849 billion Groovistanians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The enormous, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Healthcare, Public Transport, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Spirituality and Defense receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Funkytown. The average income tax rate is 96.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Groovistanian economy, worth a remarkable 5,296 trillion High Fives a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming. Average income is an amazing 222,091 High Fives, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.3 times as much as the poorest.

The nation is experiencing a severe shortage of sporting events, the psych wards are overflowing with transsexuals, young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables, and large areas of Groovistan are not accessible by the public. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Groovistan's national animal is the Cadbury Bunny, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Groovistan is ranked 4,736th in The North Pacific and 115,054th in the world for Most Devout, scoring -850 on the Paradise-Perdition Likelihood Rating.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 8 days ago


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by Max Barry

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