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The Penny Arcade Mecca of Greater Cuba

“We Don't Get Mad, We Get Stabby”

Category: New York Times Democracy
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
World Benchmark

Regional Influence: Contender

Location: USSR


The Penny Arcade Mecca of Greater Cuba is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Porfirio Diaz with a fair hand, and notable for its hatred of cheese. The compassionate, intelligent population of 17.476 billion Cubans enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of the Environment, Education, and Social Welfare. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nueva Havana. The average income tax rate is 100%. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

The "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The Nueva Havana Times is sold out, students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas, billions of Roubles are being poured into a space program, and cheese has become the new icon of political dissent. Crime is totally unknown. Greater Cuba's national animal is the dik dik, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the Rouble.

Greater Cuba is ranked 9th in USSR and 948th in the world for Safest, scoring 1,199 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 8 hours ago


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by Max Barry

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