Most Advanced Public Transport: 8th Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 9th Largest Welfare Programs: 32nd
The Great Scientific Polity of
Left-wing Utopia
We Don't Get Mad, We Get Stabby
Regional Influence
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
World Benchmark

Overview Factbook People Government Economy Rank Trend

The Great Scientific Polity of Greater Cuba is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Che Castro with a fair hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, hatred of cheese, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 22.488 billion Cubans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Environment, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nueva Havana. The income tax rate is 100%.

The thriving Greater Cuban economy, worth a remarkable 5,972 trillion Roubles a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 265,575 Roubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Conspiracy theorists allege Nueva Havana's new subway map resembles Satanic symbols, young girls and senior citizens alike can be spotted wearing colourful short shorts, royalist is the most offensive slur in the Greater Cuban language, and artists from across the nation compete to renovate the restrooms of old government buildings. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Greater Cuba's national animal is the dik dik, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Greater Cuba is ranked 180,186th in the world and 96th in USSR for Most Avoided, scoring 0.17 on the Kardashian Reflex Score.

Most Advanced Public Transport: 8thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 9thLargest Welfare Programs: 32ndMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 40thLargest Governments: 44thHighest Average Tax Rates: 45thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 54thMost Beautiful Environments: 98thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 99thMost Pacifist: 108thSafest: 126thMost Advanced Public Education: 140thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 160thLongest Average Lifespans: 164thLowest Crime Rates: 220thHighest Poor Incomes: 270thBest Weather: 311thMost Subsidized Industry: 311thMost Influential: 427thSmartest Citizens: 505thHighest Economic Output: 650thMost Inclusive: 1,013thMost Compassionate Citizens: 1,045thHealthiest Citizens: 1,096thNicest Citizens: 1,209thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,211thTop
Most Stationary: 1,928thHighest Average Incomes: 1,946thLargest Populations: 2,400thMost Scientifically Advanced: 2,633rdMost Cultured: 2,770thMost Cheerful Citizens: 3,171stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 3,724thLeast Corrupt Governments: 4,661stMost Rebellious Youth: 5,930thMost Developed: 7,815thTop
Most Politically Free: 10,539thMost Income Equality: 15,177th
Most Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 1st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1st in the regionBest Weather: 1st in the regionMost Pacifist: 1st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionMost Influential: 2nd in the regionLargest Governments: 2nd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 3rd in the regionSafest: 3rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Free: 3rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 4th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 4th in the regionTop
Highest Average Incomes: 5th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 5th in the regionMost Stationary: 6th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 6th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 7th in the regionLargest Populations: 7th in the regionMost Inclusive: 8th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 8th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 8th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 9th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 9th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 9th in the region

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by Max Barry

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