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The Jingoistic States of Get-Wired

“A compliment is like a kiss through a veil.”

Category: Compulsory Consumerist State
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Hermit

Location: PC World

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Jingoistic States of Get-Wired is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Leader with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, unlimited-speed roads, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.038 billion Get-Wiredians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Spirituality, Industry, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Environment and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Get-Wired City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 78.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Get-Wiredian economy, worth a remarkable 3,134 trillion Silver Reindeer a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Gambling, Uranium Mining, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 445,413 Silver Reindeer, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,422,613 per year while the poor average 42,103, a ratio of 57.5 to 1.

The government now pays the "Really Awesome Super Heroes" (RASH) to catch evildoers, eight year-olds can be seen lighting up in public areas, dog breeding has been banned in accordance with recent animal experimentation laws, and graffiti graces every city's streets. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Get-Wired's national animal is the Turkey, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is a major religion.

Get-Wired is ranked 1st in PC World and 988th in the world for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 12 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 19 hours ago

  • 14 hours ago: Following new legislation in Get-Wired, graffiti graces every city's streets.
  • 14 hours ago: Following new legislation in Get-Wired, dog breeding has been banned in accordance with recent animal experimentation laws.
  • 14 hours ago: Following new legislation in Get-Wired, eight year-olds can be seen lighting up in public areas.
  • 14 hours ago: Following new legislation in Get-Wired, the government now pays the "Really Awesome Super Heroes" (RASH) to catch evildoers.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Get-Wired, curtailed social programs have left many citizens bereft of any safety net.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Get-Wired, a weakened police force struggles to maintain law and order.
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in Get-Wired, the study of quantum physics has been outlawed for fear of accidentally causing the end of the world.
  • 6 days ago: Get-Wired was reclassified from "Corporate Police State" to "Compulsory Consumerist State".
  • 6 days ago: Following new legislation in Get-Wired, the military has had to quell a recent insurrection by uninsured revolutionaries.
  • 6 days ago: Following new legislation in Get-Wired, parents live in fear of governmental 'child protection' squads.

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by Max Barry

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