The Empire of
Father Knows Best State
For the Nation
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The Empire of Emporer Islands is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor of the CPE with an iron fist, and renowned for its ritual sacrifices, disturbing lack of elderly people, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 8.243 billion Emporer Islandsians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Emporer Islands City. The average income tax rate is 71.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Emporer Islandsian economy, worth 617 trillion Dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 74,962 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

The armed forces are locked in an expensive and bloody war abroad to stamp out possible terrorists, retirement homes are often fitted with luxurious suites, the average commuter spends four hours a day driving to and from work, and citizens must have a license to operate a computer. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Emporer Islands's national animal is the Koala, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Emporer Islands is ranked 13th in Central Pacific Empire and 28,664th in the world for Nudest, with 192 Cheeks per Square Mile.

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by Max Barry

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