The Empire of
Father Knows Best State
If love isn't working, you 're not using enough
Commisar Sombrero
Regional Influence
Squire
Region
Civil Rights
Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook People Government Economy Trend Analysis

The Empire of Duzels is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Commisar Sombrero with an iron fist, and notable for its ritual sacrifices, soft-spoken computers, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.155 billion Duzelsians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sombrero City. The average income tax rate is 88.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Duzelsian economy, worth 948 trillion Bitss a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 183,908 Bitss, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

The nation has declared war on all passing comets, government-run screening operations remove embryos with severe genetic disorders, there has been a series of riots between local cannibals and health food advocates, and almost all of Duzels's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Duzels's national animal is the Pony, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Ponyism.

Duzels is ranked 60th in Pony Lands and 139,290th in the world for Most Primitive, scoring -281 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Duzels, almost all of Duzels's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices.
  • : Following new legislation in Duzels, there has been a series of riots between local cannibals and health food advocates.
  • : Duzels lodged a message on the Pony Lands Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in Duzels, government-run screening operations remove embryos with severe genetic disorders.
  • : Following new legislation in Duzels, the nation has declared war on all passing comets.
  • : Following new legislation in Duzels, the nation has always been at war with Bigtopia.
  • : Following new legislation in Duzels, the Duzelsian Arts Council pays teenagers to sit through opera performances.
  • : Following new legislation in Duzels, immigrant herding has become a national pastime.
  • : Following new legislation in Duzels, several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation.
  • : Following new legislation in Duzels, the fastest growing demographic of porn viewership is twelve to seventeen.

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by Max Barry

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