The Empire of
Father Knows Best State
If love isn't working, you 're not using enough
Regional Influence
Minnow
Region
Civil Rights
Very Good
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Few

Overview Factbook People Government Economy Trend Analysis

The Empire of Duzels is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Commisar Sombrero with an iron fist, and renowned for its state-planned economy, digital currency, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.211 billion Duzelsians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government prioritizes Law & Order, with Defense, Education, and Industry also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sombrero City. The average income tax rate is 74.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Duzelsian economy, worth 588 trillion Bitss a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 139,670 Bitss, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

The military has grudgingly released all top secret information in an effort for greater transparency, all forms of advertising are banned, citizens live in superstitious fear of the mysterious glowing clouds that float over Duzels, and organ donation is compulsory. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Duzels's national animal is the Pony, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Ponyism.

Duzels is ranked 96th in Pony Lands and 127,058th in the world for Happiest Citizens, scoring 5 on the Relative Cheerfulness Rating.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Duzels was reclassified from "Inoffensive Centrist Democracy" to "Father Knows Best State".
  • : Following new legislation in Duzels, organ donation is compulsory.
  • : Following new legislation in Duzels, citizens live in superstitious fear of the mysterious glowing clouds that float over Duzels.
  • : Following new legislation in Duzels, all forms of advertising are banned.
  • : Duzels was reclassified from "Father Knows Best State" to "Inoffensive Centrist Democracy".
  • : Following new legislation in Duzels, the military has grudgingly released all top secret information in an effort for greater transparency.
  • : Following new legislation in Duzels, the nation's new foreign policy of 'very disproportionate retribution' has its neighbors on edge.
  • : Following new legislation in Duzels, government officials have to mortgage their homes to make ends meet.
  • : Following new legislation in Duzels, dark alleys and public toilets are filled with furtive sexual activities among teenagers and unmarried adults.
  • : Duzels was reclassified from "Inoffensive Centrist Democracy" to "Father Knows Best State".

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by Max Barry

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