Most Ignorant Citizens: 78th Most Compassionate Citizens: 94th Nicest Citizens: 115th
The Holy Empire of
Psychotic Dictatorship
Everybody's mortal but me
Regional Influence
Sprat
Region
Civil Rights
Few
Economy
Struggling
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview People Government Economy Rank Trend

The Holy Empire of Devoted Snails is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Leader with an iron fist, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, avowedly heterosexual populace, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 28.838 billion Devoted Snailsians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The minute, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Law & Order, although Environment, Education, and Welfare are also considered important, while Defense receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Devoted Snails City. Income tax is unheard of.

The large but sluggish Devoted Snailsian economy, worth 573 trillion Godly Shells a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 19,903 Godly Shells, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The police have reaffirmed their tough stance on drugs, the words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence, poets and writers are regularly rounded up and shot for entertainment, and retirement homes are often fitted with luxurious suites. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Devoted Snails's national animal is the Dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Blind Devotion.

Devoted Snails is ranked 182,843rd in the world and 4,739th in Balder for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -58.51 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 78thMost Compassionate Citizens: 94thNicest Citizens: 115thMost Pacifist: 168thBest Weather: 255thMost Primitive: 265thLargest Populations: 419thMost Cheerful Citizens: 556thMost Devout: 564thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 575thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 580thMost Beautiful Environments: 682ndTop
5%
Lowest Crime Rates: 1,884thLongest Average Lifespans: 2,289thMost Authoritarian: 2,694thMost Extreme: 6,334thTop
10%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 10,493rdMost Corrupt Governments: 11,329thMost Stationary: 11,484th
Top
1%
Nicest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Pacifist: 4th in the regionLargest Populations: 5th in the regionBest Weather: 8th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 12th in the regionMost Primitive: 13th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 16th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 19th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 21st in the regionMost Devout: 28th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 41st in the regionTop
5%
Longest Average Lifespans: 63rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 76th in the regionMost Extreme: 89th in the regionMost Stationary: 115th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Devoted Snails was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Economic Output.
  • : Devoted Snails was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Lowest Crime Rates.
  • : Devoted Snails was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Lowest Crime Rates.
  • : Devoted Snails was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Stationary.
  • : Devoted Snails was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Longest Average Lifespans.
  • : Devoted Snails was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Stationary.
  • : Devoted Snails was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Devout, Most Beautiful Environments, Most Compassionate Citizens, Lowest Overall Tax Burden, and Largest Populations.
  • : Devoted Snails was ranked in the Top 1% of the region for Most Authoritarian (last census: Top 5%).
  • : Devoted Snails was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Police Ratios.
  • : Devoted Snails fell out of the regional Top 10% for Most World Assembly Endorsements.

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by Max Barry

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