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The Sexy Malkbaconne Empire of Crumstain

“Work for a better Malkbaconne future”

Category: Scandinavian Liberal Paradise
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
Very Good

Regional Influence: Diplomat

Location: International Northwestern Union


The Sexy Malkbaconne Empire of Crumstain is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by President Branson with an even hand, and renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, intelligent population of 5.787 billion Crumstainites enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Defence. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Crumstainia. The average income tax rate is 73%, and even higher for the wealthy. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

The nation's diplomatic missives are now delivered via sniper rifle, the national guard is mobilized whenever a mother gets separated from her child at the mall, the "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The Crumstainia Times is sold out, and fur coats have become the latest fashion trend. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crumstain's national animal is the Llama, which is also the nation's favorite main course, its national religion is Malkbaconne, and its currency is the Crummy.

Crumstain is ranked 26th in International Northwestern Union and 12,588th in the world for Largest Public Transport Department, scoring 56 on the Societal Mobility Rating.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 12 hours ago


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by Max Barry

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