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The Malkbaconne Papal State of Crumstain

“Land of winners and not yet winners”

Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Very Strong
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Duckspeaker

Location: International Northwestern Union


The Malkbaconne Papal State of Crumstain is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by President Branson with an even hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 5.132 billion Crumstainites are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Defence. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Crumstainia. The average income tax rate is 64%, and even higher for the wealthy. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

Naturists are jailed regularly for indecent exposure, citizens receive notices of disenfranchisement along with their parking tickets, there have been sightings of people walking around dressed in nothing but leopard-skin g-strings for 'religious reasons', and the upper class have been throwing riots after hunting was recently banned. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crumstain's national animal is the Llama, which is also the nation's favorite main course, its national religion is Malkbaconne, and its currency is the Crummy.

Crumstain is ranked 55th in International Northwestern Union and 18,859th in the world for Safest, scoring 211.8 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 32 minutes ago


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by Max Barry

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