Most Influential: 1,049th Most Advanced Public Transport: 3,359th Most Beautiful Environments: 3,494th
The Douche Pickle of
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise
This is why I scalp people
Regional Influence
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Very Good

Overview Factbook People Government Economy Rank Trend

The Douche Pickle of Crumstain is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Queen Karina Einarsson with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, keen interest in outer space, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 10.071 billion Crumstainians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Crumstainia. The average income tax rate is 93.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Crumstainian economy, worth 967 trillion Coalition Aurums a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Arms Manufacturing industry. Average income is 96,032 Coalition Aurums, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Political scientists despair as the national mascot election eclipses all others in voter enthusiasm, schoolchildren have twice-weekly sex education classes, soldiers are equipped with multi-million Coalition Aurum battlesuits, and Northern Steed is one of the most popular forenames in Crumstain. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crumstain's national animal is the Northern Steed, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Malkbaconne.

Crumstain is ranked 170,163rd in the world and 90th in International Northwestern Union for Largest Agricultural Sector, scoring -11.18 on the Mu-Bah-Daggs Productivity Index.

Most Influential: 1,049thTop
Most Advanced Public Transport: 3,359thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,494thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 3,537thBest Weather: 4,030thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4,171stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4,267thLongest Average Lifespans: 4,792ndHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 4,967thMost Cultured: 5,269thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5,572ndHealthiest Citizens: 5,929thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 5,989thHighest Average Tax Rates: 7,193rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 7,270thMost Devout: 7,481stMost Advanced Public Education: 7,718thMost Rebellious Youth: 8,217thMost Subsidized Industry: 8,758thTop
Most Developed: 9,785thHighest Drug Use: 10,306thLargest Governments: 11,282ndHighest Economic Output: 11,500thLargest Populations: 12,468thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 12,781stSmartest Citizens: 13,792ndLowest Crime Rates: 14,206thMost Scientifically Advanced: 16,804th
Highest Drug Use: 5th in the regionTop
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 6th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 8th in the regionLargest Populations: 8th in the regionMost Influential: 8th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 9th in the regionBest Weather: 9th in the region

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by Max Barry

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