The High Kingdom of
Iron Fist Consumerists
No Surrender
Regional Influence
Sprat
Civil Rights
Few
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview People Government Economy Trend Analysis

The High Kingdom of Cruithnig is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Craigavon IV with an iron fist, and renowned for its public floggings, parental licensing program, and fear of technology. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.056 billion Cruithnes are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Education, and Public Transport also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Béal Átha Seanaidh. The average income tax rate is 69.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Cruithnigian economy, worth a remarkable 1,027 trillion Fádas a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Furniture Restoration, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an amazing 203,309 Fádas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.8 times as much as the poorest.

Farmers are struggling to keep up with demand for local produce, chemically brainwashed citizens praise Emperor Craigavon IV's name on an hourly basis, EpiPen sales have skyrocketed, and GP clinics are inundated by patients requesting prescriptions for alcohol. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Cruithnig's national animal is the Ulster Hound, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Cruithnig Ethnic and National Supemacy.

Cruithnig is ranked 97th in The Kingdom of Great Britain and 32,272nd in the world for Safest, scoring 279.236 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Cruithnig fell out of the world Top 5% for Safest.
  • : Cruithnig was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Lowest Crime Rates (last census: Top 5%).
  • : Cruithnig was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Lowest Crime Rates (last census: Top 1%).
  • : Following new legislation in Cruithnig, GP clinics are inundated by patients requesting prescriptions for alcohol.
  • : Following new legislation in Cruithnig, EpiPen sales have skyrocketed.
  • : Following new legislation in Cruithnig, chemically brainwashed citizens praise Emperor Craigavon IV's name on an hourly basis.
  • : Following new legislation in Cruithnig, farmers are struggling to keep up with demand for local produce.
  • : Following new legislation in Cruithnig, replacement organs are grown in vats.
  • : Cruithnig's influence in The Kingdom of Great Britain rose from "Minnow" to "Sprat".
  • : Cruithnig fell out of the world Top 10% for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector.

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by Max Barry

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