The Colony of
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

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Enter Cristiano Ronaldo

Cristiano Ronaldo during his
inauguration as Governor General.
Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro, commonly known as Cristiano Ronaldo, is a Portuguese footballer who plays as a forward for Spanish La Liga club Real Madrid and is the captain of the Portuguese national team. Ronaldo has been described as a fast, tricky, strong, skillful winger and striker who will take on any defender with his dribbling and pace. He hits his free kicks with power and pace, and is able to beat defenders off the dribble and cross the ball. He is able to score with his head and both feet. He commented on his attributes saying: "My ambition is always to improve every year".

Aside from his football career, Cristiano Ronaldo also became interested in managing a colony formerly under the care and protection of Portugal. As one of the highest-paid footballers to date, earning as much as 12 million per year in addition to the 93.9 million transfer from Manchester United to Real Madrid, Ronaldo has the resources at his disposal to buy a small colony known as Gangnam from Portugal within the region of Aizengard.

On October 10, 2012, Gangnam, now under the management of Cristiano Ronaldo, became The Colony of Cristiano Ronaldo, with Ronaldo as its Governor General. The colony, having many lush forests rich in rubber-producing trees, now serves as a major supplier of rubber under the management of Ronaldo. Vulcanization emerged as the colony's main industry. Footballs and cleats have become its primary export of manufactured goods.

The Colony of Cristiano Ronaldo is also officially recognized by Aizengard as a member state of the La Solidaridad. Under this provision, the colony receives commercial and military benefits outlined by the Treaty of Ratatouille-Hidango. Such exclusive perks allows the colony to focus on its economic forte while not having to worry as much about hostile forces threatening its security. Cristiano Ronaldo himself could put up a fight when needed so long as he has a football at his disposal.

Cristiano Ronaldo Coat of Arms
Much to the surprise of the people, Cristiano Ronaldo's administration of the colony is comparatively efficient as he is on a football field. His skills at handling political issues that the colony must address is formidable, able to pierce through any legal contingencies as he does against defenders in football.

Ronaldo does not hesitate to dismiss any bogus motion that his advisers may put forward, especially when they involve perks tailored for Lionel Messi, who also happens to have bought property within The Colony of Cristiano Ronaldo. Analysts say that the presence of Messi's estate on Ronaldo's colony functions as a point of observation of Ronaldo's political affairs, hoping to find something that Messi could use should he decide to contend against Ronaldo as the colony's Governor General.

Putting speculations and conspiracy theories aside, The Colony of Cristiano Ronaldo is a remarkable nation renowned for its sincere and fair treatment of its residents. In addition, anyone who is an avid admirer of football will have a grand time at the colony. The Santos Aveiro stadium has already become a colonial landmark and will serve as an important tourist attraction for years to come.

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by Max Barry

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