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The Empire of Crazy Firemen

“We Ride Together, We Die Together”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: the Rejected Realms

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Empire of Crazy Firemen is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Firefighter Clemente with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, zero percent divorce rate, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.95 billion Crazy Firemenians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt morass — is primarily concerned with Law & Order, with Defense, Education, and Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Seagrave. The average income tax rate is 87.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Crazy Firemenian economy, worth 946 trillion Brotherhoods a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology. Average income is 95,077 Brotherhoods, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

All writing must pass a censorship board before being allowed on the shelves, the minority party is vilified for everything from fires to earthquakes, local executives are seen on the corner with cardboard signs reading "will oppress the masses for food", and reporters often lose their jobs over fact-checking errors. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crazy Firemen's national animal is the Phoenix, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is a major religion.

Crazy Firemen is ranked 2,504th in the Rejected Realms and 112,717th in the world for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring -7 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 2 hours ago

  • 3 hours ago: Following new legislation in Crazy Firemen, reporters often lose their jobs over fact-checking errors.
  • 15 hours ago: Crazy Firemen was reclassified from "Inoffensive Centrist Democracy" to "Father Knows Best State".
  • 15 hours ago: Following new legislation in Crazy Firemen, local executives are seen on the corner with cardboard signs reading "will oppress the masses for food".
  • 15 hours ago: Following new legislation in Crazy Firemen, the minority party is vilified for everything from fires to earthquakes.
  • 15 hours ago: Following new legislation in Crazy Firemen, all writing must pass a censorship board before being allowed on the shelves.
  • 15 hours ago: Following new legislation in Crazy Firemen, students abandon classrooms for online education.
  • 15 hours ago: Following new legislation in Crazy Firemen, female newsreaders distract the nation by breastfeeding during broadcast.
  • 1 day ago: Crazy Firemen voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Liberate The Mountains to the East"".
  • 1 day ago: Crazy Firemen voted against the World Assembly Resolution "War Crimes Tribunal".
  • 2 days 20 hours ago: Crazy Firemen was endorsed by The Rejected Lands of Cocaine factory island.

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by Max Barry

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