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The Unholy LOLWUTempire of Coalition EVE

“Momento Mori - ORLLY?!??!!!!!!111”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
Imploded
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: the Rejected Realms

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Unholy LOLWUTempire of Coalition EVE is a gargantuan, devout nation, ruled by Luld Lolwut with an iron fist, and notable for its suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 19.338 billion Coalition EVEians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defence, and Public Transport. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of EVE LOLWUTEmpire City. The average income tax rate is 100%. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

Pro-democracy protesters are shot on sight by state police, strange lights seen in the sky are officially regarded as weather balloons or hoaxes and nothing else, soldiers are equipped with multi-million Shamooni battlesuits, and invasive species are hunted by the gendarmerie. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Coalition EVE's national animal is the Mystic, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, its national religion is LOLWUTianity, and its currency is the Shamooni.

Coalition EVE is ranked 3,086th in the Rejected Realms and 114,252nd in the world for Shortest Average Lifespan, scoring -74 on the Bus Surprisal Index.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 9 days ago

  • 1 day ago: Coalition EVE was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Best Weather (last census: Top 5%).
  • 9 days ago: Following new legislation in Coalition EVE, invasive species are hunted by the gendarmerie.
  • 9 days ago: Following new legislation in Coalition EVE, soldiers are equipped with multi-million Shamooni battlesuits.
  • 9 days ago: Following new legislation in Coalition EVE, strange lights seen in the sky are officially regarded as weather balloons or hoaxes and nothing else.
  • 9 days ago: Following new legislation in Coalition EVE, pro-democracy protesters are shot on sight by state police.
  • 9 days ago: Following new legislation in Coalition EVE, citizens who become homeless are immediately executed.
  • 9 days ago: Coalition EVE relocated from Lazarus to The Rejected Realms.
  • 9 days ago: Coalition EVE was refounded in Lazarus.
  • 68 days ago: Coalition EVE ceased to exist.
  • 82 days ago: Coalition EVE was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Scientifically Advanced.

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by Max Barry

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