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The Unholy LOLWUTempire of Coalition EVE

“Momento Mori - ORLLY?!??!!!!!!111”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: the Rejected Realms


The Unholy LOLWUTempire of Coalition EVE is a gargantuan, devout nation, ruled by Luld Lolwut with an iron fist, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 19.626 billion Coalition EVEians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defence, and Public Transport. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of EVE LOLWUTEmpire City. The average income tax rate is 100%. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

Consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed, fancy dress parties are raided by military police for new recruits, criminals are thrown to the Mystics to repay their debt to society, and the government funds private schools for intellectually gifted children. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Coalition EVE's national animal is the Mystic, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, its national religion is LOLWUTianity, and its currency is the Shamooni.

Coalition EVE is ranked 3,095th in the Rejected Realms and 120,507th in the world for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring -24 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 6 days ago


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by Max Barry

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