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The Unholy LOLWUTempire of Coalition EVE

“Momento Mori - ORLLY?!??!!!!!!111”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
Imploded
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: the Rejected Realms

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Unholy LOLWUTempire of Coalition EVE is a gargantuan, devout nation, ruled by Luld Lolwut with an iron fist, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 19.809 billion Coalition EVEians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defence, and Public Transport. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of EVE LOLWUTEmpire City. The average income tax rate is 100%. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

Citizens re-mortgage their homes to buy lottery tickets, birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire, workers' complaints never reach central planning, and the nation's new foreign policy of 'very disproportionate retribution' has its neighbors on edge. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Coalition EVE's national animal is the Mystic, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, its national religion is LOLWUTianity, and its currency is the Shamooni.

Coalition EVE is ranked 2,582nd in the Rejected Realms and 117,533rd in the world for Largest Manufacturing Sector, scoring -37 on the Gooback-Jerbs Productivity Index.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 14 days ago

  • 14 days ago: Coalition EVE was reclassified from "Iron Fist Consumerists" to "Psychotic Dictatorship".
  • 14 days ago: Following new legislation in Coalition EVE, the nation's new foreign policy of 'very disproportionate retribution' has its neighbors on edge.
  • 14 days ago: Following new legislation in Coalition EVE, workers' complaints never reach central planning.
  • 14 days ago: Following new legislation in Coalition EVE, birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire.
  • 14 days ago: Following new legislation in Coalition EVE, citizens re-mortgage their homes to buy lottery tickets.
  • 29 days ago: Coalition EVE was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Scientifically Advanced (last census: Top 10%).
  • 37 days ago: Following new legislation in Coalition EVE, the government funds private schools for intellectually gifted children.
  • 37 days ago: Following new legislation in Coalition EVE, criminals are thrown to the Mystics to repay their debt to society.
  • 37 days ago: Following new legislation in Coalition EVE, fancy dress parties are raided by military police for new recruits.
  • 37 days ago: Following new legislation in Coalition EVE, consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed.

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by Max Barry

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