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The Unholy LOLWUTempire of Coalition EVE

“Momento Mori - ORLLY?!??!!!!!!111”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
Imploded
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: the Rejected Realms

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Unholy LOLWUTempire of Coalition EVE is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Luld Lolwut with an iron fist, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 19.67 billion Coalition EVEians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defence, and Public Transport. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of EVE LOLWUTEmpire City. The average income tax rate is 100%. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

Consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed, fancy dress parties are raided by military police for new recruits, criminals are thrown to the Mystics to repay their debt to society, and the government funds private schools for intellectually gifted children. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Coalition EVE's national animal is the Mystic, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, its national religion is LOLWUTianity, and its currency is the Shamooni.

Coalition EVE is ranked 3,042nd in the Rejected Realms and 120,182nd in the world for Nudest, with 0 Cheeks per Square Mile.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 13 days ago

  • 5 days ago: Coalition EVE was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Scientifically Advanced (last census: Top 10%).
  • 13 days ago: Following new legislation in Coalition EVE, the government funds private schools for intellectually gifted children.
  • 13 days ago: Following new legislation in Coalition EVE, criminals are thrown to the Mystics to repay their debt to society.
  • 13 days ago: Following new legislation in Coalition EVE, fancy dress parties are raided by military police for new recruits.
  • 13 days ago: Following new legislation in Coalition EVE, consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed.
  • 13 days ago: Following new legislation in Coalition EVE, every citizen must submit to DNA testing to be eliminated from police inquiries.
  • 13 days ago: Coalition EVE relocated from Balder to The Rejected Realms.
  • 13 days ago: Coalition EVE was refounded in Balder.
  • 14 days ago: Coalition EVE ceased to exist.
  • 27 days ago: Coalition EVE was ravaged by a Zombie Horde from The Dictatorship of The Black Cult, infecting 1 million survivors.

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by Max Barry

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