Population | 35.327 billion |
Capital | Willage |
Leader | Herbert Thyssen |
Faith | Calvinism |
Currency | Guilder |
Animal | ostrich |
The Land full of Closeted Cases is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Herbert Thyssen with an even hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, sprawling nuclear power plants, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 35.327 billion Closeted Cases have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.
The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Spirituality, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Willage. The average income tax rate is 93.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.
The frighteningly efficient Closeted economy, worth a remarkable 4,973 trillion Guilders a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 140,772 Guilders, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.
Under love's heavy burden Herbert Thyssen sinks lower in the political right's esteem, patriotic citizens chant "there's only one Closeted Cases" at foreigners, spontaneous nocturnal decapitation is considered 'death by natural causes' for enemies of Closeted Cases, and elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Closeted Cases's national animal is the ostrich, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Calvinism.
Closeted Cases is ranked 138,194th in the world and 56th in Gay for Most Stationary, with 220.44303252748 days.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Closeted Cases was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Information Technology Sector.
- : Closeted Cases was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Nicest Citizens.
- : Closeted Cases was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Welfare Programs.
- : Closeted Cases was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Lowest Crime Rates.
- : Closeted Cases was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Information Technology Sector.
- : Closeted Cases was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Dead and Most Zombies and the Top 5% for Most Survivors.
- : Closeted Cases's influence in Gay rose from "Zero" to "Shoeshiner".
- : Closeted Cases relocated from Lazarus to Gay.
- : Closeted Cases altered its national flag.
- : Closeted Cases was refounded in Lazarus.