by Max Barry

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Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 551stMost Advanced Public Transport: 1,155thMost Rebellious Youth: 1,999th
The Land full of
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
We'll never come out! Never!
Influence
Shoeshiner
Region
Civil Rights
Excellent
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Excellent

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Closeted Cases

Population35.327 billion

CapitalWillage
LeaderHerbert Thyssen
FaithCalvinism

CurrencyGuilder
Animalostrich

The Land full of Closeted Cases is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Herbert Thyssen with an even hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, sprawling nuclear power plants, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 35.327 billion Closeted Cases have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Spirituality, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Willage. The average income tax rate is 93.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Closeted economy, worth a remarkable 4,973 trillion Guilders a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 140,772 Guilders, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Under love's heavy burden Herbert Thyssen sinks lower in the political right's esteem, patriotic citizens chant "there's only one Closeted Cases" at foreigners, spontaneous nocturnal decapitation is considered 'death by natural causes' for enemies of Closeted Cases, and elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Closeted Cases's national animal is the ostrich, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Calvinism.

Closeted Cases is ranked 138,194th in the world and 56th in Gay for Most Stationary, with 220.44303252748 days.

Top
1%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 551stMost Advanced Public Transport: 1,155thMost Rebellious Youth: 1,999thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,342ndMost Devout: 2,434thLargest Populations: 2,509thTop
5%
Highest Economic Output: 3,348thLeast Corrupt Governments: 3,726thMost Advanced Public Education: 4,945thMost Developed: 6,320thSmartest Citizens: 6,917thSafest: 6,960thHighest Average Tax Rates: 7,424thMost Cultured: 8,740thHealthiest Citizens: 9,400thLargest Governments: 9,758thMost Compassionate Citizens: 12,038thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 12,402ndLongest Average Lifespans: 13,150thTop
10%
Nicest Citizens: 15,001stMost Efficient Economies: 15,015thMost Pacifist: 16,360thHighest Food Quality: 16,367thHighest Poor Incomes: 17,796thMost Subsidized Industry: 17,873rdMost Inclusive: 19,797thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 19,812thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 21,616thLargest Retail Industry: 21,762ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 23,134thHighest Average Incomes: 25,919thLargest Welfare Programs: 28,710th
Top
5%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Devout: 3rd in the regionLargest Populations: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6th in the regionTop
10%
Highest Economic Output: 11th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 12th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Closeted Cases was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Information Technology Sector.
  • : Closeted Cases was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Nicest Citizens.
  • : Closeted Cases was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Welfare Programs.
  • : Closeted Cases was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Lowest Crime Rates.
  • : Closeted Cases was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Information Technology Sector.
  • : Closeted Cases was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Dead and Most Zombies and the Top 5% for Most Survivors.
  • : Closeted Cases's influence in Gay rose from "Zero" to "Shoeshiner".
  • : Closeted Cases relocated from Lazarus to Gay.
  • : Closeted Cases altered its national flag.
  • : Closeted Cases was refounded in Lazarus.

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