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The Particularly Grand Duchy of Caffeinneburg

“Hand Me the Gun and Ask Me Again”

Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Economy:
Reasonable
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Superpower

Location: North America

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Particularly Grand Duchy of Caffeinneburg is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Archduke Mister Chris VI with an iron fist, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, smutty television, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 26.431 billion Caffeinneburgians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The tiny government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Law & Order also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Public Transport are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Caffeinneburg City. The average income tax rate is 6.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Caffeinneburgian economy, worth 651 trillion orichalks a year, is driven entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 24,633 orichalks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Parents live in fear of governmental 'child protection' squads, the government is spending billions of taxpayer orichalks to support the Uranium Mining industry, fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets, and Caffeinneburg's soft-touch approach to diplomacy has made it known as the 'push-over' of the region. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Caffeinneburg's national animal is the alzabo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Caffeinneburg is ranked 29th in North America and 113,822nd in the world for Largest Public Transport Department, scoring -34 on the Societal Mobility Rating.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 28 days ago

  • 4 days ago: Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Most Authoritarian.
  • 46 days ago: Caffeinneburg fell out of the regional Top 10% for Most Authoritarian.
  • 108 days ago: Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Best Weather (last census: Top 5%).
  • 122 days ago: Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Best Weather (last census: Top 10%).
  • 127 days ago: Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Most Authoritarian.
  • 149 days ago: Caffeinneburg fell out of the regional Top 10% for Most Authoritarian.
  • 151 days ago: Caffeinneburg fell out of the regional Top 10% for Safest.
  • 184 days ago: Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Best Weather (last census: Top 5%).
  • 187 days ago: Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Most Authoritarian (last census: Top 5%).
  • 209 days ago: Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Most Authoritarian (last census: Top 10%).

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by Max Barry

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