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The Particularly Grand Duchy of Caffeinneburg

“Hand Me the Gun and Ask Me Again”

Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Economy:
Reasonable
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Superpower

Location: North America

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Particularly Grand Duchy of Caffeinneburg is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Archduke Mister Chris VI with an iron fist, and renowned for its museums and concert halls. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 25.81 billion Caffeinneburgians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it is effectively ruled by the Department of Defence, with areas such as Religion & Spirituality and Public Transport receiving almost no funds by comparison. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Caffeinneburg City. The average income tax rate is 54%, and even higher for the wealthy. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

Parents live in fear of governmental 'child protection' squads, the government is spending billions of taxpayer orichalks to support the Uranium Mining industry, fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets, and Caffeinneburg's soft-touch approach to diplomacy has made it known as the 'push-over' of the region. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Caffeinneburg's national animal is the alzabo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the orichalk.

Caffeinneburg is ranked 37th in North America and 109,809th in the world for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -10 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 23 days ago

  • 4 days ago: Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Best Weather (last census: Top 5%).
  • 18 days ago: Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Best Weather (last census: Top 10%).
  • 23 days ago: Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Most Authoritarian.
  • 45 days ago: Caffeinneburg fell out of the regional Top 10% for Most Authoritarian.
  • 47 days ago: Caffeinneburg fell out of the regional Top 10% for Safest.
  • 80 days ago: Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Best Weather (last census: Top 5%).
  • 83 days ago: Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Most Authoritarian (last census: Top 5%).
  • 105 days ago: Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Most Authoritarian (last census: Top 10%).
  • 115 days ago: Caffeinneburg fell out of the regional Top 10% for Largest Defense Forces.
  • 120 days ago: Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Safest.

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by Max Barry

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