The Particularly Grand Duchy of
Corrupt Dictatorship
Hand Me the Gun and Ask Me Again
Regional Influence
Superpower
Region
Civil Rights
Below Average
Economy
Reasonable
Political Freedom
Few

Overview People Government Economy Trend Analysis

The Particularly Grand Duchy of Caffeinneburg is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Archduke Mister Chris VI with an iron fist, and renowned for its frequent executions, anti-smoking policies, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 26.939 billion Caffeinneburgians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The tiny government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Law & Order is also considered important, while Spirituality and Public Transport receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Caffeinneburg City. The average income tax rate is 7.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Caffeinneburgian economy, worth 688 trillion orichalks a year, is driven entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 25,573 orichalks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Parents live in fear of governmental 'child protection' squads, the government is spending billions of taxpayer orichalks to support the Uranium Mining industry, fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets, and Caffeinneburg's soft-touch approach to diplomacy has made it known as the 'push-over' of the region. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Caffeinneburg's national animal is the alzabo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Caffeinneburg is ranked 1st in North America and 1,709th in the world for Most Primitive, scoring 114 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 17 days ago

  • 10 days ago: Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Most Influential (last census: Top 10%).
  • 11 days ago: Caffeinneburg fell out of the regional Top 10% for Longest Average Lifespans.
  • 15 days ago: Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens (last census: Top 10%).
  • 22 days ago: Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Best Weather (last census: Top 5%).
  • 22 days ago: Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Best Weather (last census: Top 10%).
  • 25 days ago: Caffeinneburg fell out of the world Top 5% for Most Popular Tourist Destinations.
  • 25 days ago: Caffeinneburg fell out of the regional Top 5% for Most Popular Tourist Destinations.
  • 33 days ago: Caffeinneburg fell out of the regional Top 10% for Most Authoritarian.
  • 38 days ago: Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Most Influential (last census: Top 5%).
  • 67 days ago: Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Godforsaken.

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by Max Barry

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