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The Cabin in the Woods of Blazing Samaritan

“We don't need a stinkin' motto”

Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Excellent
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Vassal

Location: The East Pacific

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Cabin in the Woods of Blazing Samaritan is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Giant Hand with an iron fist, and notable for its anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, cynical population of 13.904 billion Blazing Samaritanites are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and the Environment. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Necronomicon City. Income tax is unheard of. A powerhouse of a private sector is dominated by the Book Publishing industry.

Skateparks can be found in every city, churches frequently hold public 'contraception burnings', Blazing Samaritan's leader goes out to lunch surrounded by large men in dark glasses, and most of the nation's wealthy aristocrats are dentists. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Blazing Samaritan's national animal is the Evil Unicorn, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, its national religion is Ventriloquism, and its currency is the Zombie Arm.

Blazing Samaritan is ranked 107th in The East Pacific and 6,142nd in the world for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 227 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 13 hours ago

  • 1 day 6 hours ago: Blazing Samaritan fell out of the world Top 10% for Least Corrupt Governments.
  • 1 day 6 hours ago: Blazing Samaritan fell out of the regional Top 10% for Least Corrupt Governments.
  • 2 days 7 hours ago: Blazing Samaritan was reclassified from "Father Knows Best State" to "Corrupt Dictatorship".
  • 2 days 7 hours ago: Following new legislation in Blazing Samaritan, most of the nation's wealthy aristocrats are dentists.
  • 2 days 7 hours ago: Following new legislation in Blazing Samaritan, Blazing Samaritan's leader goes out to lunch surrounded by large men in dark glasses.
  • 2 days 7 hours ago: Following new legislation in Blazing Samaritan, churches frequently hold public 'contraception burnings'.
  • 2 days 7 hours ago: Following new legislation in Blazing Samaritan, skateparks can be found in every city.
  • 2 days 7 hours ago: Following new legislation in Blazing Samaritan, organ donation rates have hit a new low.
  • 3 days 6 hours ago: Blazing Samaritan fell out of the world Top 10% for Nicest Citizens.
  • 3 days 7 hours ago: Blazing Samaritan fell out of the regional Top 10% for Nicest Citizens.

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by Max Barry

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