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The Happy Herders of Bearistotle and Hebert

“Cookies Are Part of the Food Pyramid!”

Category: Left-wing Utopia
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: The Skeleton Army


The Happy Herders of Bearistotle and Hebert is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by The King and Pope with a fair hand, and notable for its complete absence of social welfare. The compassionate, intelligent population of 17.26 billion Cute and Cuddly Bears are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, liberal individuals is mainly concerned with the Environment, although Social Equality and Healthcare are secondary priorities. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gingerbread House. Income tax is unheard of. A powerhouse of a private sector is dominated by the Gambling industry.

Refugees from other nations are flocking to Bearistotle and Hebert's border, elevator music has been replaced by thrash metal played at maximum volume, college students make ends meet by selling their kidneys, and religious figures have been banned from public holidays to make them more multicultural. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is crippling, probably because of the country's utter lack of prisons. Bearistotle and Hebert's national animal is the Little Old Lady, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, its national religion is Chocolism, and its currency is the preapprovedcreditcard.

Bearistotle and Hebert is ranked 48th in The Skeleton Army and 110,486th in the world for Lowest Unemployment Rates, scoring -152 on the Workforce Participation Versus Theoretical Maximum Metric.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 8 hours ago


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by Max Barry

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