Spotlight on:

“Drink oop lad & 'ave a pie”

The Ferret in Your Trouserness of Bahgum is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by The Glorious Leader with an even hand, and renowned for its suspicion of poets. Its hard-nosed, hard-working population of 12.825 billion are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, pro-business individuals is effectively ruled by the Department of Law & Order, with areas such as Social Equality and Religion & Spirituality receiving almost no funds by comparison. Income tax is unheard of. A large private sector is dominated by the Gambling industry.

Schoolchildren have twice-weekly sex education classes, meat-eating is frowned upon, drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government, and it is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Bahgum's national animal is the cart horse, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the eckythump.

Bahgum is ranked 17th in the region and 38,894th in the world for Highest Unemployment Rates.