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The Republic of Aquilonia-Caithness

“Mira la Soledad”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Rare
Economy:
Imploded
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Power

Location: Katasia

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Republic of Aquilonia-Caithness is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Leader with an iron fist, and renowned for its complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 24.436 billion Aquilonia-Caithnessians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, corrupt, moralistic individuals juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Defence, and the Environment. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Aquilonia-Caithness City. Income tax is unheard of. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

People regularly disappear off the streets and all evidence of them is destroyed, the mining industry has taken a hit from tighter environmental regulations, curtailed social programs have left many citizens bereft of any safety net, and visitors to the famed rainforests are instead taken to vast furniture factories. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Aquilonia-Caithness's national animal is the phoenix, which is also the nation's favorite main course, its national religion is a major religion, and its currency is the flayed chinchilla skin.

Aquilonia-Caithness is ranked 6th in Katasia and 111,490th in the world for Best Weather, with -1,133 Metres of Sunlight Above Expected.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 7 hours ago

  • 21 hours ago: Following new legislation in Aquilonia-Caithness, visitors to the famed rainforests are instead taken to vast furniture factories.
  • 1 day 21 hours ago: Following new legislation in Aquilonia-Caithness, curtailed social programs have left many citizens bereft of any safety net.
  • 1 day 21 hours ago: Following new legislation in Aquilonia-Caithness, the mining industry has taken a hit from tighter environmental regulations.
  • 2 days 21 hours ago: Following new legislation in Aquilonia-Caithness, people regularly disappear off the streets and all evidence of them is destroyed.
  • 2 days 21 hours ago: Following new legislation in Aquilonia-Caithness, the nation is experiencing a severe shortage of sporting events.
  • 3 days 21 hours ago: Following new legislation in Aquilonia-Caithness, foreign 'investors' have been taking a great interest in the new secret shuttle.
  • 3 days 21 hours ago: Following new legislation in Aquilonia-Caithness, fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Aquilonia-Caithness, local executives are seen on the corner with cardboard signs reading "will oppress the masses for food".
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Aquilonia-Caithness, scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes.
  • 5 days ago: Aquilonia-Caithness was reclassified from "Father Knows Best State" to "Iron Fist Consumerists".

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by Max Barry

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