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The United States of Alief Texas

“Us against the World”

Category: New York Times Democracy
Civil Rights:
Excellent
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Excessive

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: California

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The United States of Alief Texas is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Snoopy with a fair hand, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, intelligent population of 5.299 billion Alief Texasians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Commerce, and Defence. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Houston. The average income tax rate is 61%. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Tourism, Information Technology, and Book Publishing industries.

The government is financing an extremely costly war against malaria, there have been sightings of people walking around dressed in nothing but leopard-skin g-strings for 'religious reasons', many parents are becoming frustrated with their children's choices in spouses, and almost all products in Alief Texas are hand-crafted due to strict employment laws. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alief Texas's national animal is the liger, which is also the nation's favorite main course, its national religion is a major religion, and its currency is the dollar.

Alief Texas is ranked 27th in California and 111,140th in the world for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -83 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 6 hours ago

  • 8 hours ago: Following new legislation in Alief Texas, almost all products in Alief Texas are hand-crafted due to strict employment laws.
  • 20 hours ago: Following new legislation in Alief Texas, many parents are becoming frustrated with their children's choices in spouses.
  • 1 day 8 hours ago: Following new legislation in Alief Texas, there have been sightings of people walking around dressed in nothing but leopard-skin g-strings for 'religious reasons'.
  • 1 day 18 hours ago: Alief Texas was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Soda Pop Sector (last census: Top 10%).
  • 1 day 20 hours ago: Following new legislation in Alief Texas, the government is financing an extremely costly war against malaria.
  • 2 days 8 hours ago: Following new legislation in Alief Texas, the nation leads California in per capita stalking.
  • 2 days 20 hours ago: Alief Texas was reclassified from "Civil Rights Lovefest" to "New York Times Democracy".
  • 2 days 20 hours ago: Following new legislation in Alief Texas, citizens must pay to enjoy Alief Texas's pristine beaches.
  • 2 days 20 hours ago: Following new legislation in Alief Texas, spousal homicide rates have tripled in recent months.
  • 2 days 20 hours ago: Following new legislation in Alief Texas, most governmental positions are filled by zealous nationalists.

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by Max Barry

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