The Dictatorship of
Corporate Police State
If you can't fight, then die
Regional Influence
Minnow
Region
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook People Government Economy Trend Analysis

The Dictatorship of Afghanistan Sucks is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Ladin bin Osama II with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, zero percent divorce rate, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.971 billion Afghanistan Sucksyrians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lubak. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 74.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Afghanistan Sucksian economy, worth a remarkable 1,085 trillion bread crumbs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 218,414 bread crumbs, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,217,661 per year while the poor average 19,559, a ratio of 62.3 to 1.

The nation refuses to provide international aid, mining is the nation's most dangerous occupation, mandatory electronic currency is a boon for credit card companies and government surveillance, and all citizens are solely referenced by their allocated identity number. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force. Afghanistan Sucks's national animal is the terrorist, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Jihadism.

Afghanistan Sucks is ranked 4,085th in Lazarus and 128,717th in the world for Most Pacifist, scoring -2,073 on the Lennon-Springsteen Scale.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Afghanistan Sucks was ranked in the Top 1% of the region for Most Extreme (last census: Top 5%).
  • : Afghanistan Sucks was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Lowest Unemployment Rates (last census: Top 5%).
  • : Afghanistan Sucks was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Most Devout (last census: Top 10%).
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanistan Sucks, all citizens are solely referenced by their allocated identity number.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanistan Sucks, mandatory electronic currency is a boon for credit card companies and government surveillance.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanistan Sucks, mining is the nation's most dangerous occupation.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanistan Sucks, the nation refuses to provide international aid.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanistan Sucks, public loudspeakers constantly tell citizens they are "happy people".
  • : Afghanistan Sucks fell out of the world Top 5% for Largest Cheese Export Sector.
  • : Afghanistan Sucks was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector.

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by Max Barry

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