The Dictatorship of
Corporate Police State
If you can't fight, then die
Regional Influence
Minnow
Region
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook People Government Economy Trend Analysis

The Dictatorship of Afghanistan Sucks is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Isaac de Franco with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, public floggings, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 4.181 billion Afghanistan Sucksians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Renewed Hope. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Afghanistan Sucksian economy, worth 818 trillion Handlers a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 195,815 Handlers, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,119,661 per year while the poor average 16,561, a ratio of 67.6 to 1.

Poets and writers are regularly rounded up and shot for entertainment, one-stop superstores divide and conquer family businesses, customs turn away those considered to have an unfavourable ethnicity, and mandatory electronic currency is a boon for credit card companies and government surveillance. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force. Afghanistan Sucks's national animal is the Demon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Heritism.

Afghanistan Sucks is ranked 1,562nd in Lazarus and 49,512th in the world for Most Primitive, scoring -33 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 13 hours ago

  • 13 hours ago: Afghanistan Sucks altered its national flag.
  • 13 hours ago: Following new legislation in Afghanistan Sucks, mandatory electronic currency is a boon for credit card companies and government surveillance.
  • 13 hours ago: Following new legislation in Afghanistan Sucks, customs turn away those considered to have an unfavourable ethnicity.
  • 13 hours ago: Following new legislation in Afghanistan Sucks, one-stop superstores divide and conquer family businesses.
  • 13 hours ago: Following new legislation in Afghanistan Sucks, poets and writers are regularly rounded up and shot for entertainment.
  • 13 hours ago: Afghanistan Sucks was refounded in Lazarus.
  • 308 days ago: Afghanistan Sucks ceased to exist.
  • 310 days ago: Afghanistan Sucks was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Lowest Unemployment Rates (last census: Top 10%).
  • 310 days ago: Afghanistan Sucks was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Lowest Unemployment Rates.
  • 311 days ago: Afghanistan Sucks was ranked in the Top 1% of the region for Most Extreme.

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by Max Barry

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