The Dictatorship of
Corporate Police State
If you can't fight, then die
Regional Influence
Minnow
Region
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook People Government Economy Trend Analysis

The Dictatorship of Afghanistan Sucks is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Ladin bin Osama II with an iron fist, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, compulsory military service, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 4.777 billion Afghanistan Sucksyrians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lubak. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 74.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Afghanistan Sucksian economy, worth a remarkable 1,045 trillion bread crumbs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 218,809 bread crumbs, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,190,112 per year while the poor average 20,683, a ratio of 57.5 to 1.

Nudity is frowned upon, a survey of the nation's rivers and children has shown that pesticide levels are at an all-time regional high, one-stop superstores divide and conquer family businesses, and the police are tightening their grip on alcohol smugglers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force. Afghanistan Sucks's national animal is the terrorist, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Jihadism.

Afghanistan Sucks is ranked 231st in Lazarus and 4,386th in the world for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 135 on the Gilded Widget Scale.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Afghanistan Sucks, the police are tightening their grip on alcohol smugglers.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanistan Sucks, one-stop superstores divide and conquer family businesses.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanistan Sucks, a survey of the nation's rivers and children has shown that pesticide levels are at an all-time regional high.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanistan Sucks, nudity is frowned upon.
  • : Afghanistan Sucks fell out of the world Top 5% for Largest Agricultural Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanistan Sucks, flogging is all the rage.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanistan Sucks, notable individuals are granted land and titles.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanistan Sucks, pro-democracy protesters are shot on sight by state police.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanistan Sucks, birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire.
  • : Afghanistan Sucks was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Lowest Crime Rates (last census: Top 10%).

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by Max Barry

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