1 Infinite Loop was Commended by Security Council Resolution # 141
The Holy French Hippopotamus of
Democratic Socialists
Our Bigness is exceeded only by our Frenchness
Regional Influence
Civil Rights
Below Average
Political Freedom

Overview Dispatches People Government Economy Trend Analysis

The Holy French Hippopotamus of 1 Infinite Loop is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Horhay Mendolenzavasquesma with an even hand, and notable for its public floggings, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 24.216 billion 1 Infinite Loopians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cupertino. The average income tax rate is 84.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but stagnant 1 Infinite Loopian economy, worth 458 trillion Metric Pounds a year, is highly specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 18,914 Metric Pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's official head of religious affairs is an atheist, fancy dress parties are raided by military police for new recruits, tax evaders are regularly visited by agents of the 1 Infinite Loop Blood Tithe, and underground copulation clubs have sprung up in major cities. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. 1 Infinite Loop's national animal is the Hippopotamus, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

1 Infinite Loop is ranked 6,226th in The East Pacific and 125,204th in the world for Happiest Citizens, scoring 7 on the Relative Cheerfulness Rating.

National Happenings

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by Max Barry

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